Dear Potential Lover,

You won't like me. You won't like me because I won't treat you badly. I won't cheat on you. I won't forget your birthday, or forget to call. And when you're sick, I'll be ready with soup and movies. I won't be afraid to tell you I love you if it's true, and I won't sleep with you the first night I meet you. Chances are you won't like me at all. And even if you think you do, you'll be leaving me soon enough.